Ezan\u0131n o tatl\u0131 na\u011fmesi gecenin hen\u00fcz uyku mahmuru sessizli\u011finde y\u00fcreklere i\u015fliyordu. Kurtulu\u015f, namaza y\u00fcr\u00fcy\u00fc\u015f i\u00e7in sabah uykusundan vazge\u00e7me imzas\u0131yla vize al\u0131yordu. Ku\u015flar\u0131n o narin c\u0131v\u0131lt\u0131lar\u0131 kulaklarda zikrin en tatl\u0131 na\u011fmeleri gibi \u00e7\u0131nl\u0131yordu. Divana durman\u0131n engin huzuru kalbimde bir meltem gibi esiyordu.
\nSa\u011f ve solumdaki meleklerin ayd\u0131nl\u0131k sunan tebess\u00fcmlerini hissetti\u011fim dinginle\u015fmi\u015f g\u00f6nl\u00fcm\u00fcn masumlu\u011fuyla ellerimi Rabbimin engin merhametine do\u011fru uzatt\u0131m. En i\u00e7ten samimiyetimle yalvard\u0131m. “Rabbim sen affeden ve ba\u011f\u0131\u015flayans\u0131n. Rahmeti azab\u0131na galip gelensin. Lutfetmezsen cennetine yol bulacak yok. Galip gelen merhametinle yarg\u0131la sevgili babam\u0131!”
\nEllerim d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f, g\u00f6zlerimden ya\u015flar bo\u015fanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Babam\u0131n siluetinin yans\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131 duvara bakt\u0131m.
\n-Baba, babac\u0131\u011f\u0131m sen ya\u015f\u0131yorsun!
\n-\u00d6l\u00fcm, beden tohumunun daha g\u00fcrb\u00fcz, dayanakl\u0131 ve s\u00fcrekli olarak ayakta durabilece\u011fi ahiret bah\u00e7esinde boy vermesi i\u00e7in topra\u011fa ekilmesinden ba\u015fka bir \u015fey de\u011fildir. \u00d6l\u00fcm\u00fcme de\u011fil, d\u00fcnya tarlas\u0131na att\u0131\u011f\u0131m tohumlar\u0131n zay\u0131fl\u0131\u011f\u0131 sonucu din\u00e7li\u011fimi kaybedi\u015fime \u00fcz\u00fcl. Bundan dolay\u0131 da ibadet, infak ve hay\u0131rla ahirette boy verecek tohumumu g\u0131daland\u0131r ki sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 kaybetmesin.
\n-Senden ayr\u0131 olu\u015fuma dayanam\u0131yorum, firak\u0131n h\u00fczn\u00fc bir keder anaforunda beni bo\u011fmakta.
\nEllerimi hasret duydu\u011fum babam\u0131n y\u00fcz\u00fcne do\u011fru uzatt\u0131m. Yava\u015f\u00e7a g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fcs\u00fc \u00e7ekiliyordu. Biraz sonra duvar\u0131n o so\u011fuk benzinden ba\u015fka bir \u015fey kalmad\u0131.
\nAyd\u0131nl\u0131k kayboldu.
\nBug\u00fcn babalar g\u00fcn\u00fc, ac\u0131n\u0131n ba\u011fr\u0131ma han\u00e7er gibi sapland\u0131\u011f\u0131 ve s\u0131z\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n damarlar\u0131m\u0131n en \u00fccra k\u00f6\u015felerine g\u00fcn.
\nG\u00fcne\u015f sanki ac\u0131ma ortak olmak istercesine hararetli bir g\u00fcne ba\u015flaman\u0131n seherinde ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 bulutlar\u0131n ard\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131karmak istemiyordu.
\n-Hey o\u011flum i\u015fine baksana! Dald\u0131n yine. \u00c2\u015f\u0131k m\u0131s\u0131n yoksa Karadeniz’de gemilerin mi batt\u0131?
\n-Yok be baba ne a\u015fk\u0131, ne gemisi ne h\u00fczn\u00fc\u2026 \u00dcniversite sonucunu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum. Ne olacak, ne yapaca\u011f\u0131m diye endi\u015feliyim.
\nBenim h\u00fczn\u00fcme ortak olan babam kar\u015f\u0131dan gelen arabay\u0131 fark etmemi\u015fti. \u00c7arp\u0131lmas\u0131na ramak kala bir \u00e7ita \u00e7evikli\u011fiyle f\u0131rlayarak kendisini araban\u0131n tamponlar\u0131ndan kurtard\u0131m. Y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fcn rengi solmu\u015ftu. “Az kals\u0131n d\u00fcnya misafirli\u011fimiz sona eriyordu.
\nLatife yapacak g\u00fcn\u00fcmdeydim. Bu s\u00f6z\u00fcn \u00fczerine:
\n-Yok be baba beni evermeden bu d\u00fcnyadan ka\u00e7aca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 m\u0131 sand\u0131n? B\u0131rakmam seni!
\nTebess\u00fcm\u00fc hala g\u00f6zlerimde.
\nSeherin sessizli\u011fi ve serinli\u011finde kap\u0131y\u0131 \u00e7ekip d\u0131\u015far\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131m. Hafif bir r\u00fczg\u00e2r\u0131n tatl\u0131 ok\u015fay\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131n e\u015fli\u011finde y\u00fcr\u00fcmeye ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.
\nAma birden kendimi F\u0131rat nehri kenar\u0131nda nefes nefes kalmas\u0131na ra\u011fmen, ko\u015fmas\u0131n\u0131 s\u00fcrd\u00fcren babam\u0131n kuca\u011f\u0131nda buldum. Annem arkada yeti\u015fmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordu. Lakin yeti\u015fmesi ne m\u00fcmk\u00fcn\u2026
\nF\u0131rat’\u0131n kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda heybetli bir \u015fekilde Birecik Kalesi duruyordu. Kale \u015fa\u015fk\u0131n g\u00f6zlerle, kuca\u011f\u0131nda bebekle ko\u015fan adama bak\u0131yordu.
\n“\u00d6lme o\u011flum \u00f6lme e mi? Az kald\u0131 seni doktora yeti\u015ftirece\u011fim.”
\nNefesim kesilmi\u015fti. Sanki o an\u0131 babam\u0131n yerine ben ya\u015f\u0131yormu\u015fum gibi ayaklar\u0131m fark\u0131nda olmadan h\u0131zlanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.
\nMersin mezarl\u0131\u011f\u0131 ye\u015filli\u011fin boy verdi\u011fi bir bah\u00e7e gibiydi. Kim bilir ka\u00e7 defa t\u00fckenen bedenleri ebedi istirahat hanelerine yerle\u015ftirmek i\u00e7in gelmi\u015fimdir. Ama bana en garip geleni babam\u0131n \u00f6lmeden sat\u0131n ald\u0131\u011f\u0131 mezar\u0131n\u0131 kendisiyle ziyaret ederek ya\u015fayan bedenindeki ruhuna Fatiha okudu\u011fum g\u00fcnk\u00fc ziyaretimdir.
\n-Bak o\u011flum nas\u0131l manzaras\u0131 iyi mi?
\n-Ya baba insan i\u00e7inde olunca d\u0131\u015f\u0131n ne \u00f6nemi var?
\n-\u00d6yle deme. Mezar\u0131n manzaras\u0131n\u0131n g\u00fczelli\u011fi g\u00f6r\u00fcl\u00fcrl\u00fcl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcyle alakal\u0131d\u0131r. Her ge\u00e7en bir Fatiha ile ruhumuzu \u015fenlendirir.
\nMezarl\u0131\u011f\u0131n giri\u015fi dinler aras\u0131 diyalogun sessizice sergilendi\u011fi bir a\u00e7\u0131k alan m\u00fczesini and\u0131r\u0131yordu. Yolun sol kenar\u0131nda Yahudi, Hr\u0131stiyan, Ermenilerin mezarlar\u0131 ha\u00e7 i\u015faretiyle gelenleri kutsamaya haz\u0131r bir \u015fekilde s\u0131ralanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.
\nSa\u011f tarafta ise ruhun \u00f6l\u00fcms\u00fczl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcne, sonsuz ya\u015fam\u0131n enerjisine olan sadakatin g\u00f6stergesi olarak ta\u015flardan g\u00f6n\u00fcllere yans\u0131yan “Ruhuna Fatiha” lar birer kelebek gibi g\u00f6zlerde u\u00e7u\u015fuyordu.
\nLahuti atmosferin r\u00fczgar\u0131 ruhun \u00fczerinde bir y\u00fck gibi duran nefis elbisesini silkeleyerek \u00f6l\u00fcms\u00fczl\u00fck vadisine f\u0131rlat\u0131yordu. Ruh dinginle\u015fiyordu, nefsin a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan ve d\u00fcnyevile\u015fme h\u0131rs\u0131ndan kurtulunca.
\nHuzurun damarlarda sakince esti\u011fi bir ruh mevsimini ya\u015fayan bedenimle y\u00fcr\u00fcrken “Ruhuna Fatiha” kelebe\u011finin kanatlar\u0131n\u0131n hemen alt\u0131nda babam\u0131n ismini g\u00f6r\u00fcnce b\u00fcy\u00fc dalgalarla alabora olan gemiler gibi ruhumun bedenimde sars\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hissettim.
\nEbedi uykular\u0131na dalan insanlar\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcne \u00e7ektikleri topraktan yorgan\u0131na sar\u0131larak “Babam!” dedim.
\n-Merhaba baba ben geldim. Babalar g\u00fcn\u00fcnde bir kelebe\u011fin kanad\u0131na y\u00fckledi\u011fim Fatiha’y\u0131 hediyem olarak kabul et. Seni seviyorum babac\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Ezan\u0131n o tatl\u0131 na\u011fmesi gecenin hen\u00fcz uyku mahmuru sessizli\u011finde y\u00fcreklere i\u015fliyordu. Kurtulu\u015f, namaza y\u00fcr\u00fcy\u00fc\u015f i\u00e7in…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":25,"featured_media":4554,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[19],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[189],"class_list":["post-4553","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ani"],"yoast_head":"\n