Bu tepe pulli tepe (Yaylalar)
\nO yaylalar yaylalar sonalar
\n\u00c7\u0131kt\u0131m su serpe serpe (Yaylalar)
\nO yaylalar yaylalar sonalar
\nGettim ki yar uyumu\u015f (Yaylalar)
\nO yaylalar yaylalar sonalar
\nUyartt\u0131m \u00f6pe \u00f6pe (Yaylalar)
\nO yaylalar yaylalar sonalar<\/p>\n
Erzurum\u2019un serin yayla havas\u0131n\u0131 ve taptaze umutlar\u0131n\u0131 getiren; \u201c\u00c7\u0131kt\u0131m su serpe serpe\u201d diyerek yolu ferahlatan berrak bu g\u00fczel t\u00fcrk\u00fcn\u00fcn sesiyle ba\u015fl\u0131yorum s\u00f6ze. Umuda ko\u015fan vagonlar\u0131n kap\u0131s\u0131nda rehin kald\u0131 oyuncak bebeklerim. O demlerde, Ahmet Muhip D\u0131ranas\u2019\u0131n terenn\u00fcm etti\u011fi gibi; \u201cKar ya\u011f\u0131yor \u00fcst\u00fcm\u00fcze geceden, \/ Ya\u011fmurlu, karanl\u0131k bir d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceden,\u201d misali beyaz bu\u011fu kaplam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 her yan\u0131. Belki de o bebeklerin b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131 melali, ruhumdaki cevher ile doldurmam gerekiyordu. Zira bendeki bu \u00f6z\u00fc, yetiyi ve yetene\u011fi benden \u00f6nce fark eden bir isim \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131ma. Okudu\u011fum ilkokulun m\u00fcd\u00fcr\u00fc Nevzat K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn bir g\u00fcn elime “Oku” diye se\u00e7ti\u011fi \u015fiirleri tutu\u015fturmas\u0131yla ba\u015flad\u0131 her \u015fey. Me\u011ferse ben, kendi d\u00fcnyam\u0131n harc\u0131n\u0131; efsane film diye adland\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131m \u201cSelvi Boylum Al Yazmal\u0131m\u201d \u0131n ba\u015frollerinde yer alan Ahmet Mekin\u2019in unutulmaz Cem\u015fit karakterindeki gibi sab\u0131rla ve emekle kar\u0131yormu\u015fum.<\/p>\n
Filmde Asya, \u0130lyas\u2019\u0131n yak\u0131\u015f\u0131kl\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6tesinde; Cem\u015fit\u2019in vefas\u0131na, sadakatine, eme\u011fine tutunurdu ya… “Sevgi neydi? Sevgi iyilikti, dostluktu, sevgi emekti…”<\/em> derdi i\u00e7inden. \u0130\u015fte benim yazma ser\u00fcvenim de Cem\u015fit\u2019in Asya\u2019ya ve Samet\u2019e sahip \u00e7\u0131k\u0131\u015f\u0131 gibiydi; kelimelere, hat\u0131ralara ve insani de\u011ferlere sahip \u00e7\u0131kmak. Munis bir y\u00fcrekle, halis bir niyetle \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131m yola; zira bilirim ki h\u00fcsn-i zan edeptir. T\u0131pk\u0131 Cengiz Aytmatov\u2019un “Toprak Ana”s\u0131ndaki muazzam sabr\u0131, hayat\u0131m\u0131n her mutmain an\u0131na bir ni\u015fane gibi yerle\u015ftirdim. \u0130nsan\u0131n s\u0131\u011f\u0131naca\u011f\u0131 en g\u00fcvenli liman yine kendi ruhudur; bu y\u00fczden g\u00f6n\u00fcl, her daim tevekk\u00fcl p\u0131nar\u0131ndan beslenmelidir.<\/p>\n Duygusal bir \u00e7ocuktum; oratoryolarda sesim titrerdi, kompozisyonlarda kalemim co\u015fard\u0131. O g\u00fcnlerden beri \u00f6z\u00fcme \u00fcfleyene etti\u011fim duam: K\u00f6t\u00fc olmak istemiyorum.<\/strong><\/p>\n Niyetin berraksa hayat ona hizmet eder. Ard\u0131na baksan ge\u00e7mi\u015fin hezeyan\u0131n\u0131, \u00f6n\u00fcne baksan gelece\u011fin kayg\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcrs\u00fcn. Asl\u0131nda insan\u0131n kendine yaslanmas\u0131, kendi ruhundan bir kale in\u015fa etmesidir; i\u015fte o kalenin \u00f6zenle \u00f6r\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f surlar\u0131 da, ta\u015f\u0131na nak\u015fedilen kederleri de, bur\u00e7lar\u0131nda dalgalanan taptaze umudu da benim…<\/p>\n Yazmak, benim i\u00e7in bir savunma bi\u00e7imiydi. Sait Faik\u2019in “Son Ku\u015flar”da muazzam ferasetiyle hayk\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131 gibi; “D\u00fcnya de\u011fi\u015fiyor dostlar\u0131m, g\u00fcn\u00fcn birinde g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcnde art\u0131k ku\u015flar g\u00f6r\u00fcnmeyecek.”<\/em> Ku\u015flar g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcnden eksilmesin, insan\u0131n i\u00e7indeki merhamet \u00f6lmesin diye sar\u0131ld\u0131m kaleme. Yavuz B\u00fclent Bakiler\u2019in Anadolu\u2019sunda kendimi ararken, i\u00e7imdeki kalbi hicap duygusuyla kalemime yasland\u0131m. M\u00fc\u015ffik bir tav\u0131rla d\u00fcnyaya bakmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rken, insanlar\u0131n birbirine f\u0131rlatt\u0131\u011f\u0131 sitemler aras\u0131nda lal kesildi\u011fim zamanlar oldu. \u00d6mer Seyfettin\u2019in “Ka\u015fa\u011f\u0131” hik\u00e2yesini hat\u0131rlay\u0131n; bir yalan\u0131n, bir iftiran\u0131n k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir kalbi nas\u0131l heba etti\u011fini, vicdan azab\u0131n\u0131n bir \u00f6m\u00fcr nas\u0131l urgan gibi insan\u0131n boynuna doland\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131… Ben o hik\u00e2yedeki Hasan\u2019\u0131n masumiyetini hi\u00e7 unutmad\u0131m. Vicdan, insan\u0131n tek ger\u00e7ek pusulas\u0131d\u0131r. K\u00f6t\u00fc olmak istemeyi\u015fim, ge\u00e7 kal\u0131nm\u0131\u015f \u00f6z\u00fcrlerin vebalini ta\u015f\u0131mak istemeyi\u015fimdendir. Zira bilirim ki; savrulan\u0131 r\u00fczg\u00e2r s\u00fcr\u00fckler, istikameti olan\u0131 ise kader; bir vesile, salih bir kul ya da hi\u00e7 akla gelmeyecek bir arac\u0131 ile sel\u00e2mete ta\u015f\u0131r.<\/p>\n Toprak de\u011fil mi ki \u00fczerine at\u0131lan her \u015feyi kabul eder\u2026 Ya i\u015fte toprak nas\u0131l her \u015feyi ba\u011fr\u0131na bas\u0131p hatta k\u00fcl olan\u0131 yeniden filizlendiriyorsa, ben de yazd\u0131klar\u0131mla i\u00e7imdeki sunam hayalleri yeniden ye\u015ferttim. Yazamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m her g\u00fcn, ruhumun revan oldu\u011fu yollarda bir bo\u015flu\u011fa d\u00fc\u015ferim. E\u011fer kalemim susarsa, i\u00e7imdeki halis niyetler, samimi duygular birer birer itimat kayb\u0131na u\u011frar ve d\u00fcnya bana haram olur. H\u00e2lk edilmenin esrar\u0131 H\u00e2Ik\u2019\u0131 bilmektedir; c\u00fcmle sat\u0131r, O\u2019nun cemalini bir nebze olsun g\u00f6rebilme umuduyla ka\u011f\u0131da d\u00fc\u015fer.<\/p>\n “Gelin canlar bir olal\u0131m<\/p>\n M\u00fcnkire k\u0131l\u0131\u00e7 \u00e7alal\u0131m<\/p>\n Hak’k\u0131n yoluna gidelim<\/p>\n Tevekkelt\u00fc tealallah”<\/p>\n Pir Sultan Abdal\u2019\u0131n bu davetiyle kalbi bir uyan\u0131\u015fa ge\u00e7er insan; \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc birli\u011fe ve hakikate y\u00f6nelmeyen her \u00e7aba, \u00f6z\u00fcnde eksiktir. \u0130\u015fte bu hakikat yolculu\u011funun sonunda her \u015fey biter, her \u015fey koca bir hi\u00e7li\u011fe b\u00fcr\u00fcn\u00fcr. Geriye ya bir avu\u00e7 heba edilmi\u015f \u00f6m\u00fcr ya da sevgiyle dokunulmu\u015f bir g\u00f6n\u00fcl kal\u0131r. \u0130nsan elinden geldi\u011fince k\u00f6t\u00fcl\u00fc\u011fe, eline batan dikenlere al\u0131\u015fabiliyor da; as\u0131l yaray\u0131 can bildi\u011finden gelen k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcc\u00fck bir “fiske” ile al\u0131yor. Ben de hayat\u0131m boyunca hassas “g\u00fcl\u00fc” incitmemek; g\u00fcl\u00fcn mahdumu dikeni, vazge\u00e7ilmezi vedudu (seven ve sevilmeye lay\u0131k olan) bilerek yazd\u0131m. Yazmadan duram\u0131yorum; \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc yazd\u0131k\u00e7a i\u00e7imdeki o \u00e7ocukluk a\u015fk\u0131, safl\u0131k, “Kozalak Kalbim” nefes al\u0131yor. Defterler dolusu \u015fiir yazd\u0131m; g\u00fcnl\u00fcklerimde \u00e7ocukluk a\u015fk\u0131m\u0131 ve hayal k\u0131r\u0131kl\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131 saklad\u0131m. Bazen yazd\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131 bir kenara at\u0131p unuttum ama o yazma a\u015fk\u0131 beni hi\u00e7 terk etmedi. \u00d6zdemir Asaf\u2019\u0131n \u015fiirlerindeki incelik, Abdurrahim Karako\u00e7\u2019un co\u015fkusu, heyecan\u0131 ve A\u015f\u0131k Veysel\u2019in sadakatiyle \u00f6rd\u00fcm ben bu yolu.<\/p>\n A\u015f\u0131k Veysel\u2019in dedi\u011fi gibi; sad\u0131k y\u00e2rimiz kara toprak olmadan evvel, g\u00f6n\u00fcl aynas\u0131n\u0131 temiz tutmak gerekmez mi?<\/p>\n K\u00f6t\u00fclerin kazand\u0131\u011f\u0131 zannedilen bu d\u00fcnyada, kelimeleriyle ve sevgisiyle ayakta kalan bir \u015fair olarak soruyorum: Elin ta\u015f\u0131yla \u00f6lmek mi daha zordur, yoksa dostun att\u0131\u011f\u0131 o tek bir g\u00fcl\u00fcn yaras\u0131yla ya\u015famak m\u0131? \u015eimdi, bunca g\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fcn\u00fcn ve k\u0131r\u0131ls\u0131n diye beklenen kalplerin aras\u0131nda tekrar soruyorum: Kendi ruhunun hi\u00e7 solmayan bahar\u0131na yaslan\u0131p dik durmak varken, k\u0131\u015f\u0131n ayaz\u0131nda umudu t\u00fcketmek reva m\u0131d\u0131r?<\/p>\n Daima bahar\u0131 m\u00fcjdeleyen, o hep diri kalan Kozalak Kalbimle selaml\u0131yorum sizi.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Bu tepe pulli tepe (Yaylalar) O yaylalar yaylalar sonalar \u00c7\u0131kt\u0131m su serpe serpe (Yaylalar) O…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":44,"featured_media":4390,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[353,21,149],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[245],"class_list":["post-4389","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sibel-orhan","category-sinematelevizyon","category-yaz"],"yoast_head":"\n