{"id":3663,"date":"2026-01-28T20:35:38","date_gmt":"2026-01-28T17:35:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/simurgedebiyat.com\/?p=3663"},"modified":"2026-01-28T20:35:38","modified_gmt":"2026-01-28T17:35:38","slug":"hesaptan-azade","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/simurgedebiyat.com\/index.php\/2026\/01\/28\/hesaptan-azade\/","title":{"rendered":"Hesaptan Azade"},"content":{"rendered":"

Masumiyet, bu \u00e7a\u011fda ya\u015fanmas\u0131 zor ve giderek kaybolan bir \u00f6zelliktir. Nefsin hesab\u0131ndan ar\u0131nm\u0131\u015f, iradenin Hakk\u2019a teslim oldu\u011fu bir h\u00e2l<\/strong>dir; niyetin g\u00f6lgelenmedi\u011fi, fiilin menfaatle kirlenmedi\u011fi saf bir y\u00f6neli\u015ftir. Maalesef ahir vaktin ikliminde masumiyet, \u00e7a\u011f\u0131n kat\u0131 y\u00f6r\u00fcngelerinde tutunamayan bir g\u00f6k cismi muamelesi g\u00f6r\u00fcr<\/strong>. Safl\u0131\u011f\u0131, \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6l\u00e7en kronometreler taraf\u0131ndan hesap d\u0131\u015f\u0131 b\u0131rak\u0131l\u0131r; parlakl\u0131\u011f\u0131na ra\u011fmen kara deliklerin sessiz \u00e7ekim alan\u0131na do\u011fru \u00e7ekilir, bilinmezlikten ba\u015fka s\u0131\u011f\u0131na\u011f\u0131 yoktur. Geride, kimsesiz bir siluet, bo\u015flukta as\u0131l\u0131 kalm\u0131\u015f yetim bir bak\u0131\u015f b\u0131rak\u0131r; solu\u011fu yar\u0131da kesilen bir mevsim gibi.<\/p>\n

Bu d\u00f6ng\u00fcde \u0131s\u0131, rikkat ve merhamet var; elzem olan atmosfer yoktur. \u00d6yle ki kozmik r\u00fczg\u00e2rlar \u00e7arpar, y\u0131ld\u0131zlararas\u0131 tozlar \u00fczerine \u00e7\u00f6ker, enerji birikemeden s\u00f6nmeye y\u00fcz tutar. Bu y\u00fczden \u00fc\u015f\u00fcr ve \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 erken yitirir. Y\u00f6r\u00fcngesini tamamlayamadan savrulur bu nedenledir ki \u00e7i\u00e7eklenmesi gereken baharda, daha ilk devrini bitiremeden hazana yenik d\u00fc\u015fer. Ve bu \u00e7a\u011f\u0131n g\u00f6klerinde, masumiyet, iz b\u0131rakan bir kuyruklu y\u0131ld\u0131z: parlad\u0131\u011f\u0131 an k\u0131sa, kayboldu\u011fu an sessizdir. T\u00fcm galaksiler kendi hesaplar\u0131yla me\u015fgul olur ve kimse onun y\u00f6r\u00fcngesini \u00f6nemsemez.<\/p>\n

O h\u00e2lde sormak gerekir: Masumiyet bu \u00e7a\u011fda ger\u00e7ekten kayboldu mu, yoksa biz onu koruyacak kadar \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcl\u00fc olamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z i\u00e7in mi daha \u00f6telere hatta galaksilerin karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131na savruldu?<\/p>\n

\"Ya\u011fmurlu<\/p>\n

Masumiyetin s\u00fcrg\u00fcn\u00fc yaln\u0131zca \u00e7a\u011f\u0131n su\u00e7u de\u011fildir; insan da kendi i\u00e7 d\u00fcnyas\u0131nda bu s\u00fcrg\u00fcne zemin haz\u0131rlar. Zamanla, i\u00e7 evrenindeki odalardan baz\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 sessizce kapat\u0131r; kimi kap\u0131lar bir daha a\u00e7\u0131lmamak \u00fczere kilitlenir. Ya\u015f almak, burada takvimle s\u0131n\u0131rl\u0131 kalmaz; zaman art\u0131k saatin akrep ve yelkovan\u0131yla de\u011fil, g\u00fcvenin par\u00e7alan\u0131\u015f\u0131yla ilerler. Bu sanc\u0131, ruhun takviminden bir yaprak koparmakla yetinmez, \u00e7o\u011fu zaman o takvimi b\u00fct\u00fcn\u00fcyle k\u00fcl eder. Al\u0131na d\u00fc\u015fen \u00e7izgiler, d\u00fcnyan\u0131n sertli\u011fine ra\u011fmen hakikate a\u00e7\u0131k kalman\u0131n bedelini ta\u015f\u0131r. \u0130nsan y\u0131llarla de\u011fil, pay\u0131na d\u00fc\u015fen tuzaklarla a\u011f\u0131rla\u015f\u0131r<\/strong>; omuzlar\u0131na \u00e7\u00f6ken y\u00fck, ge\u00e7en seneler de\u011fil, ta\u015f\u0131namayan iyi niyetin tortusudur.<\/p>\n

Masumiyet i\u015fte bu y\u00fczden hedef al\u0131n\u0131yor. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc masumiyet, bu \u00e7a\u011f\u0131n kirli dilini konu\u015fmuyor. G\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fcn\u00fcn i\u00e7inde susarak duran tek ses odur kanaatimce. Herkesin cebinde keskin hesaplar, dillerinde cilal\u0131 yalanlar varken; masum insan kalabal\u0131\u011fa \u00e7\u0131plak bir kalple kar\u0131\u015f\u0131yor. Yalpalaya yalpalaya kaybolmu\u015f me\u00e7hul bir yolcuya benzemektedir. Elinde pusula yoktur; y\u00f6n\u00fcn\u00fc kalbiyle buldu\u011funu zanneder. Y\u00fcre\u011finde kilit yoktur; \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc k\u00f6t\u00fcl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn anahtar ta\u015f\u0131yabilece\u011fine inanmaz. Dilinde temkin yoktur; zira s\u00f6z\u00fc yara de\u011fil, k\u00f6pr\u00fc zanneder<\/strong>. T\u0131pk\u0131 bir \u00e7ocu\u011fun, uzat\u0131lan \u015fekerin ard\u0131ndaki niyeti g\u00f6rememesi gibi, bu yolcu da sunulan iyili\u011fin bedelini hesap etmez. \u015eekerle kand\u0131r\u0131lan \u00e7ocuk nas\u0131l sessizce oyundan oyuna \u00e7ekilirse, insan da tatl\u0131 vaatlerin ard\u0131nda fark etmeden y\u00fcklenir. Bu kand\u0131r\u0131l\u0131\u015f, s\u0131rt\u0131na ba\u011flanan g\u00f6r\u00fcnmez bir ta\u015fa d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr; ad\u0131mlar\u0131 yava\u015flar, bak\u0131\u015f\u0131 karar\u0131r, sesi k\u0131s\u0131l\u0131r. Anlar ki o tatl\u0131, masum de\u011fildir ve her uzanan el, yol g\u00f6stermez.<\/p>\n

Masumiyetin dram\u0131 tam da buradad\u0131r: Kendini savunmay\u0131 \u00f6\u011frenirse masum olmaktan \u00e7\u0131kar, \u00f6\u011frenmezse hedef olmaktan kurtulamaz. \u0130\u015fte bu y\u00fczden masumiyet, bu \u00e7a\u011fda ya erken g\u00f6m\u00fcl\u00fcr ya da sessizce yaralan\u0131r.<\/p>\n

Bir hik\u00e2ye gibi ba\u015flad\u0131 her \u015fey desem. D\u00fcnya, ilk bak\u0131\u015fta geni\u015f ve umutlu bir yerdi. Fakat A\u015f\u0131k Talibi\u2019nin dedi\u011fi gibi, \u201cBen n\u2019edeyim d\u00fcnyas\u0131n\u0131 \/ Bana \u00e7akt\u0131 i\u011fnesini.\u201d<\/strong> Masum olan, d\u00fcnyan\u0131n i\u011fnesini fark edemiyor. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc o, sar\u0131lmay\u0131 beklerken bat\u0131r\u0131lan\u0131 anlamakta gecikiyor. Masum insan\u0131n yan\u0131lg\u0131s\u0131 budur: Her g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015f\u00fc samimi, her s\u00f6z\u00fc ger\u00e7ek sanmak<\/strong>. Masum insan i\u015fte tam da b\u00f6yledir. Hesap yapmaz, saklamaz, dolamba\u00e7l\u0131 yollara sapmaz. Bu y\u00fczden kolay fark edilir. Kolay bir av olur g\u00fcn\u00fcn sonunda. Masumiyet \u00fcrkek bir ceylan gibi dola\u015f\u0131r insanlar\u0131n aras\u0131nda. G\u00fcvenmeyi bilir l\u00e2kin ka\u00e7may\u0131 bilememi\u015ftir. \u0130\u015fte bu y\u00fczden hedef al\u0131n\u0131r: Savunmas\u0131z oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in, \u015feffaf oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in, i\u00e7i g\u00f6r\u00fclebildi\u011fi i\u00e7in.<\/p>\n

Masum insan\u0131n kalbi camdan i\u00e7i g\u00f6r\u00fcnen bir ev gibidir; at\u0131lan ufac\u0131k bir ta\u015f onu parampar\u00e7a edebilir. Perdeleri yoktur, kap\u0131lar\u0131 ard\u0131na kadar a\u00e7\u0131kt\u0131r. Bu \u00e7a\u011fda ise en \u00e7ok a\u00e7\u0131k kap\u0131lar zorlan\u0131r. Masum insan, bir aynaya benzer: Kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndakini oldu\u011fu gibi g\u00f6sterir. Ve kimse kendi \u00e7arp\u0131k y\u00fcz\u00fcyle uzun s\u00fcre y\u00fczle\u015fmek istemez<\/strong>. Bu y\u00fczden aynalar k\u0131r\u0131l\u0131r, masumiyet su\u00e7lan\u0131r.<\/p>\n

\"Ya\u011fmurun<\/p>\n

Bir hik\u00e2ye daha var burada. Masum olan, s\u00f6ylenen s\u00f6ze de\u011fil; s\u00f6ylenmeyen niyete inan\u0131r<\/strong>. G\u00fcl\u00fc\u015f\u00fc maske sanmaz, merhameti stratejiye yormaz. Oysa bu \u00e7a\u011fda duygular bile pazarl\u0131k masas\u0131na s\u00fcr\u00fcl\u00fcr. Samimiyet bir ara\u00e7, iyilik bir yat\u0131r\u0131m, g\u00fcven ise s\u00f6m\u00fcr\u00fclecek bir zemin h\u00e2line gelmi\u015ftir. Masumiyet, s\u00f6z de bir aptall\u0131k olur. Bunlar\u0131 bilmedi\u011fi i\u00e7in de oyunun en kolay kaybedenidir. Masumiyet, z\u0131rhs\u0131z gezmenin ad\u0131d\u0131r. Ve ne yaz\u0131k ki bu d\u00fcnyada \u00e7\u0131plak kalp, en h\u0131zl\u0131 kanayan yerdir. Kurtlar murat al\u0131r, ku\u015flar pay\u0131na d\u00fc\u015feni kapar; h\u0131rsl\u0131 olanlar istediklerini al\u0131r, geriye kalan ise ancak k\u0131smetine raz\u0131 olur.<\/p>\n

Kalbi bir ayna gibi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr masum insan. Tozsuz, lekesiz\u2026 Ama zamanla o aynaya nefesler \u00fcflenir, kirli parmaklar dokunur. Yine \u00c2\u015f\u0131k Talibi\u2019nin dizeleri ile \u201c\u015eu kalbimin aynas\u0131n\u0131 \/ Parlat\u0131p da silen olmaz.\u201d<\/strong> \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc masum olan hep vermeyi bilir, kendine uzanacak eli \u00e7o\u011fu zaman bulamaz. Bir de kand\u0131r\u0131lma meselesi vard\u0131r. Masum insan, k\u00f6t\u00fcl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn \u00f6rg\u00fctl\u00fc olabilece\u011fine inanmaz. Oysa bu \u00e7a\u011fda masumiyet bir davettir; suistimale, oyuna, yalana.\u201d Elin baht\u0131 yolu bilir\u201d<\/strong>, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc hesap yapar; masumun baht\u0131 geri kal\u0131r<\/strong>, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc inan\u0131r. Ve ger\u00e7ekten de \u201cbenim gibi kalan olmaz.\u201d<\/strong> \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc kalanlar ya kabuk ba\u011flar ya da kalabal\u0131\u011fa kar\u0131\u015f\u0131p kendini ink\u00e2r eder.<\/p>\n

\u0130nsan, g\u00fcveni bo\u015fa d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde ve hayaller k\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131nda, yava\u015f yava\u015f kendi i\u00e7ine \u00e7ekilir. Deniz derinle\u015fir, gece artar. Ahmet Muhip Dranas\u2019\u0131n Olvido<\/em>\u2019sundaki gibi, unutu\u015fa seslenmek ister:<\/p>\n

\u201cEy unutu\u015f! Kapat art\u0131k pencereni,<\/strong>
\n\u00c7oktan derinli\u011fine \u00e7ekmi\u015f deniz beni\u2026<\/strong>
\n\u00c7\u0131kmaz art\u0131k sular alt\u0131ndan o d\u00fcnya.<\/strong>
\nBir duman y\u00fckselir gibidir kederden<\/strong>
\nMaceras\u0131 \u00e7oktan bitmi\u015f gibi o \u015feylerden.<\/strong>
\nAmans\u0131z gecenle yay\u0131l d\u00f6rt yan\u0131ma<\/strong>
\nEy unutu\u015f! Kurtar bu gamlardan beni.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Unutmak \u00e7o\u011fu kez zay\u0131fl\u0131k de\u011fil, hayatta kalma \u00e7abas\u0131d\u0131r. \u201cEy unutu\u015f! Kapat art\u0131k pencereni,\u201d<\/em> der \u015fair. Masumiyet, denizin alt\u0131nda sulara g\u00f6m\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f gibidir art\u0131k, \u00e7\u0131kmaz sular\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcne. Kederden bir duman y\u00fckselir; ya\u015fanm\u0131\u015fl\u0131klara ard\u0131ndan bir k\u00fcf kokusu yay\u0131l\u0131r ruhun d\u00f6rt yan\u0131na. Ve insan, bu \u00e7a\u011fda masum kalabilmekten yorulur. Zordur \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc. Unutmak ka\u00e7\u0131\u015f gibi g\u00f6z\u00fckse de merhem olur sanc\u0131ya. Dranas\u2019\u0131n seslendi\u011fi gibi, insan unutu\u015fa s\u0131\u011f\u0131nmak ister. Masum insanlar ya erken susar ya da ge\u00e7 anlar; anlad\u0131klar\u0131nda ise i\u015f i\u015ften ge\u00e7mi\u015f olur.<\/p>\n

\u015eimdi durup sormak gerekmez mi? :<\/p>\n

Masumiyet b\u00fcsb\u00fct\u00fcn bir yenilgi midir? Belki de de\u011fildir. Belki de masumiyet, bu \u00e7a\u011f\u0131n unuttu\u011fu son asalettir<\/strong>. \u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fc yitirmek pahas\u0131na incinmeyi g\u00f6ze alanlar\u0131n sessiz direni\u015fidir. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc herkesin hesap yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir d\u00fcnyada temiz kalabilmek, en zor ve en pahal\u0131 se\u00e7imdir.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Masumiyet, bu \u00e7a\u011fda ya\u015fanmas\u0131 zor ve giderek kaybolan bir \u00f6zelliktir. Nefsin hesab\u0131ndan ar\u0131nm\u0131\u015f, iradenin Hakk\u2019a teslim…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":44,"featured_media":3664,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[245],"class_list":["post-3663","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-hikaye"],"yoast_head":"\nHesaptan Azade - simurgedebiyat.com<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/simurgedebiyat.com\/index.php\/2026\/01\/28\/hesaptan-azade\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"tr_TR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Hesaptan Azade - 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Gazi \u00dcniversitesi E\u011fitim Fak\u00fcltesi\u2019nden mezun olduktan sonra, ayn\u0131 \u00fcniversitenin E\u011fitim Bilimleri b\u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcnde y\u00fcksek lisans yapt\u0131. E\u011fitimcilik kariyerinde uzun y\u0131llar \u00f6\u011fretmenlik ve idarecilik g\u00f6revlerinde bulundu; okul m\u00fcd\u00fcrl\u00fc\u011f\u00fc ba\u015fta olmak \u00fczere \u00e7e\u015fitli idari g\u00f6revler \u00fcstlendi. E\u011fitimcilik kimli\u011finin yan\u0131 s\u0131ra yaz\u0131 ve \u015fiir d\u00fcnyas\u0131nda da aktif olarak yer almaktad\u0131r. \u015eehir ve K\u00fclt\u00fcr dergisi ile Asanatlar internet sitesinde yaz\u0131lar\u0131 yay\u0131nlanmaktad\u0131r."}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/simurgedebiyat.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3663","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/simurgedebiyat.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/simurgedebiyat.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/simurgedebiyat.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/44"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/simurgedebiyat.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3663"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/simurgedebiyat.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3663\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3665,"href":"https:\/\/simurgedebiyat.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3663\/revisions\/3665"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/simurgedebiyat.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3664"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/simurgedebiyat.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3663"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/simurgedebiyat.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3663"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/simurgedebiyat.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3663"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/simurgedebiyat.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/ppma_author?post=3663"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}