\u00c7ocuklu\u011fumun b\u00fct\u00fcn h\u00e2resi o sesin i\u00e7inde sakl\u0131yd\u0131 sanki. Ve ard\u0131ndan, dertn\u00e2k bir t\u00fcrk\u00fc d\u00f6k\u00fcl\u00fcrd\u00fc ba\u011fr\u0131ndan:<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cYavru yavru huma ku\u015fu y\u00fckseklerden seslenir<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n O\u011ful yar koynunda bir \u00e7ift suna beslenir, beslenir<\/em><\/strong>\u201d sanki kalbimin iki kuytusunda b\u00fcy\u00fcyen iki ince s\u0131z\u0131 gibiydi.<\/p>\n Biri hasret, biri minnet.<\/p>\n \u0130kisinin aras\u0131nda anam\u0131n \u015fefkatiyle \u0131s\u0131nan bir \u00e7ocuk: bendim.<\/p>\n \u201cYavru yavru sen a\u011flama kara g\u00f6zler \u0131slan\u0131r<\/em><\/strong> Bazen d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum da, anam beni do\u011furmakla ne b\u00fcy\u00fck bir c\u00fcret etti acaba? \u201cAnne sana kim dedi yavrunu do\u011furmay\u0131? Bir yitik ezgiydim belki, notalar\u0131m\u0131 dizdi ninnileriyle, g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcnde bir dua gibi ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131 beni. Her sanc\u0131yla biraz daha \u00e7o\u011fald\u0131, her nefeste biraz daha eksildi, sessizce.<\/p>\n Sonra ne mi oldu?<\/p>\n Bir kere do\u011furmu\u015ftu bebesini\u2026 Sonra b\u00fcy\u00fctt\u00fc beni, b\u00fcy\u00fct\u00fcrken yava\u015f yava\u015f kendi k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcld\u00fc. Sa\u00e7lar\u0131ndaki siyahlar aklara teslim oldu. Ellerindeki sabun kokusu zamanla yerini ekmek aras\u0131 yorgunlu\u011fa b\u0131rakt\u0131.<\/strong> Ve o eller ki, nas\u0131r\u0131na ra\u011fmen hep g\u00fczeldi\u2026Benli ellerdi onlar, k\u0131nal\u0131, \u00e7atlak \u00e7atlak\u2026 ama en \u00e7ok da ana kokulu. Anam konu\u015fmazd\u0131, ama elleri konu\u015furdu.<\/p>\n \u201cYorgunum evlat\u201d derdi.<\/p>\n \u201c\u0130nceden \u00fc\u015f\u00fcyorum\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Cahit S\u0131tk\u0131\u2019n\u0131n kuytulara yay\u0131lan sesi bir sis gibi da\u011f\u0131l\u0131yor benli\u011fime oradan her zerreme;<\/p>\n \u201cBir kere do\u011furdunsa sonra ni\u00e7in b\u00fcy\u00fctt\u00fcn? Ben soruyorum, anam susuyor. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc an\u0131lar konu\u015fuyor onun yerine. Tand\u0131r ba\u015f\u0131nda yo\u011furdu\u011fu hamurlar, s\u0131rt\u0131ndaki yorganla bizi saran geceler, sabah ezan\u0131nda suya uyanan elleri anlat\u0131yor her \u015feyi.<\/p>\n Anam\u0131n elleri\u2026<\/p>\n Ah o eller\u2026<\/p>\n \u00c7atlam\u0131\u015f, nas\u0131r tutmu\u015f yine de en g\u00fczel dua gibi uzan\u0131rd\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131ma. <\/strong>\u015eimdi her sabah, g\u00fcne\u015fi onun hayaliyle kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131yorum. Bir \u00e7ocuk gibi usulca g\u00f6zlerimi yumdu\u011fumda, koynundan bir daha atmayacakm\u0131\u015f gibi sar\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hissediyorum.<\/p>\n Ne zaman uzakla\u015fsam, ne zaman bu \u015fehirlerin g\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fcs\u00fc i\u00e7imde derinle\u015fen bir bo\u015fluk b\u0131raksa, hep ayn\u0131 korkuya d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcyorum:<\/p>\n \u201cKoynundan ni\u00e7in att\u0131n yavrunu b\u00fct\u00fcn b\u00fct\u00fcn? Korktum anam Korkuyorum anam Ben seni bir kere \u00f6zlemedim anam, Sen do\u011furdun, b\u00fcy\u00fctt\u00fcn, sustun\u2026 Bir annenin elleri, Senin koynundan at\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131m g\u00fcnden beri, Sen sustuk\u00e7a, Ben ac\u0131lar\u0131 kucaklad\u0131\u011f\u0131mdan beri T\u00fcm yollar sana \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yor Ve ne zaman b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fcm sand\u0131ysam, Ben anam\u0131 hat\u0131rlarken bir \u00e7ift el d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcyor akl\u0131ma: Benli\u2026 \u00c7atlak\u2026 Gece \u00e7\u00f6kt\u00fc m\u00fc, hat\u0131ralar \u00e7\u0131kar gizlendi\u011fi yerden. Bir ta\u015f duvar\u0131n dibine oturur, anam\u0131n ellerine dolar…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":44,"featured_media":2839,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[100],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[245],"class_list":["post-2838","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-deneme"],"yoast_head":"\n
\nO\u011ful ben a\u011flim ki belki g\u00f6n\u00fcl uslan\u0131r, uslan\u0131r\u201d<\/em><\/strong>\u2026 kaval sesi gibi i\u00e7ime s\u0131zd\u0131 s\u00f6zleri.<\/p>\n
\nCahit S\u0131tk\u0131\u2019n\u0131n dizeleri gibi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcyor i\u00e7ime sorular:<\/p>\n
\nSanki karn\u0131nda fazla yaramazl\u0131k m\u0131 ettim?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n
\nKundakta be\u015fikte bir zahmetim mi vard\u0131?\u201d anam<\/strong><\/p>\n![\"Tar\u0131m](\"https:\/\/cdnuploads.aa.com.tr\/uploads\/PhotoGallery\/2021\/04\/30\/thumbs_b2_ae1fe7bcad60ed259a4b940bfa9aaefa.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
\nBilmiyor muydun ki o yaln\u0131zl\u0131ktan korkard\u0131?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n
\nKoca \u015fehirlerde senin yerini tutacak ne bir bak\u0131\u015f bulabildim ne de bir avu\u00e7 toprak\u2026
\nEllere d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm
\nSo\u011fuk, ac\u0131mas\u0131z, hesap\u00e7\u0131 ellere
\nAnam\u0131n benli ellerini \u00f6zledim
\nKokusu hen\u00fcz kurumam\u0131\u015f sabunla kar\u0131\u015f\u0131k un kokusu ellerini,<\/p>\n
\nYaln\u0131zl\u0131ktan, kalabal\u0131klardan, annesiz kalmaktan\u2026
\nSenin olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n her yer biraz eksik, biraz so\u011fuk ve hep biraz \u00e7ocuk kal\u0131yor i\u00e7imde<\/p>\n
\nBen seni \u00e7ok \u00f6zledim
\n<\/strong>Soba t\u00fctmedi\u011finde,
\nBardaklar k\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131nda,
\nKalbim \u00fc\u015f\u00fcd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde\u2026
\nHep sen geldin akl\u0131ma<\/p>\n
\nBen b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fcm, sustum, \u00f6zledim
\n\u0130\u015fte anam: A\u011flad\u0131k\u00e7a y\u00fcreklerimize vuruyor hayat\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n
\nBir ekmek kadar sade,
\nBir vatan kadar derin olabilir mi?
\nSeninki \u00f6yleydi<\/p>\n
\n\u015eehrin ortas\u0131nda
\nAna karn\u0131 gibi s\u0131cak bir yer ar\u0131yorum
\nBulam\u0131yorum
\nBetonun dili yok,
\n\u0130nsanlar\u0131n kalbi yok,
\nG\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fc de, \u00e7ocuklara masal anlatmay\u0131 \u00e7oktan unuttu<\/strong><\/p>\n![\"T\u00fcrk](\"https:\/\/www.kizilay.org.tr\/Upload\/Haber\/800X600\/anadoluimages_20274012-14-08-2020-77236486.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
\nBen yazd\u0131m anam
\nSen a\u011flamad\u0131n,
\nBen i\u00e7imden ko\u015farak a\u011flad\u0131m<\/p>\n
\nG\u00fcne\u015fin etraf\u0131nda d\u00f6ner kamer
\nBen i\u00e7eri d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm anam,
\nYoklu\u011funa, yoklu\u011fuma, bu memlekete\u2026<\/p>\n
\nNe yana d\u00f6nsem,
\nKar\u015f\u0131mda ellerin
\nBenli\u2026 G\u00fczel\u2026
\nVe h\u00e2l\u00e2 dua gibi\u2026
\nOysa benim anam\u0131n ellerinde
\nBen vard\u0131,
\nEmek vard\u0131,
\nBir \u00f6mr\u00fcn y\u00fck\u00fc vard\u0131\u2026<\/p>\n
\nEllerinden d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm
\nYere de\u011fil,
\nHayat\u0131n ortas\u0131na<\/p>\n
\nVe h\u00e2l\u00e2 d\u00fcnyan\u0131n en g\u00fczel elleri\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"