\nyaln\u0131zca insan kald\u0131 geriye ayn\u0131 \u00f6zden yo\u011frulmu\u015f, ayn\u0131 topra\u011fa d\u00f6necek olan insan.<\/p>\n
Ayakkab\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131ndaki toprakla beraber ezildi gururu, ayaklar alt\u0131na al\u0131nd\u0131 onuru. Zalimin ayakkab\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n taban\u0131 y\u00fcz\u00fcne vurdu\u011funda, g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fc \u00e7atlad\u0131. Sa\u00e7lar\u0131 \u00e7ekildi\u011finde, bir mevsim erkenden sona erdi. Surat\u0131na savrulan salyalara ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 e\u011fdi\u011finde kan\u0131 topra\u011fa kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131; zalim durmak bilmiyordu. Bir anan\u0131n evlad\u0131 oldu\u011funu unutmu\u015f eziyetini ac\u0131mas\u0131zca s\u00fcrd\u00fcr\u00fcyordu.
\nKad\u0131n ise gururuyla susturdu kendini. Oysa kad\u0131n susarken bile \u00e7a\u011fl\u0131yordu adeta. Sabr\u0131n\u0131n k\u0131y\u0131s\u0131ndan d\u00f6k\u00fcl\u00fcyordu bin bir h\u00fcnerle saklay\u0131p g\u00f6zlerinden ak\u0131tamad\u0131\u011f\u0131 ya\u015flar. Nefesi bir zikir, her sars\u0131l\u0131\u015f\u0131 bir esaretti. K\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131k\u00e7a, topra\u011fa daha da yak\u0131nla\u015ft\u0131; \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc toprak, insan\u0131n son s\u0131\u011f\u0131na\u011f\u0131yd\u0131. O g\u00fcn g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fc de a\u011flad\u0131, lakin kimse duymad\u0131. Evdeki yast\u0131\u011f\u0131n alt\u0131nda sakland\u0131 karanl\u0131k; yast\u0131k bile korkard\u0131 onun sesinden.<\/p>\n
Derin bir i\u00e7 \u00e7eki\u015f pencereden yans\u0131yan bu\u011fusuna kadar s\u0131zan. Sa\u00e7lar\u0131 beyazlam\u0131\u015f ahlar\u0131 \u015fahadet etmi\u015fti. Elleri titriyordu; yorgun d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f umutlar\u0131 sahnesine e\u015flik eden bir izleyici gibiydi. Bir fincan \u00e7ay koydu \u00f6n\u00fcne, hasretini m\u00fch\u00fcrledi\u011fi seyran eden y\u0131llar\u0131na teslim etti ilk yudumunu! Bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131 yorgun cama yans\u0131d\u0131; \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n alt\u0131nda sil\u00fcetini b\u0131rakt\u0131: O y\u00fcre\u011findekileri bast\u0131rmak istercesine izliyordu kendini\u2026 Da\u011flar\u0131n ard\u0131nda bir kar tanesi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcyordu topra\u011fa. \u201cAllah kar gibi g\u00f6kten ya\u011f\u0131nca,\u201d dedi, \u201cso\u011fuk de\u011fil, temizliktir bu.\u201d O an anlad\u0131: insan, kar gibi ya\u011fmadan ar\u0131nam\u0131yor. \u00dczerine yap\u0131\u015fan kir ve pi\u015fmanl\u0131k, yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 se\u00e7imin bedeli, her kar tanesi gibi a\u011f\u0131r a\u011f\u0131r \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcl\u00fcyordu bendinde.<\/p>\n
![\"Siluet](\"https:\/\/cdn.pixabay.com\/photo\/2014\/03\/08\/18\/58\/silhouette-283298_1280.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
Sezai Karako\u00e7\u2019un dile getirdi\u011fi gibi:<\/p>\n
\u201cKar\u0131n ya\u011fd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcnce<\/em> \u0130\u015fte o da \u00f6yle yapt\u0131. \u0130\u00e7inde yanan kar\u0131 tuttu avu\u00e7lar\u0131nda, kendi s\u0131cakl\u0131\u011f\u0131yla eritti. O kar bir \u00f6mr\u00fc ar\u0131tt\u0131. \u00d6\u011frendi ki, ac\u0131 da, a\u015fk da, zul\u00fcm de birer \u00f6\u011fretmendir. Ve insan, en sonunda kendine d\u00f6n\u00fcnce affedebilir hayat\u0131. Silkelendi, sendeledi; yeniden silkelendi ve nefessiz bir hayk\u0131r\u0131\u015fla i\u00e7indekini d\u0131\u015fa vurdu. Ate\u015fe de\u011fen elini topra\u011fa \u00e7evirdi. Ak d\u00fc\u015fen sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 y\u0131ld\u0131zlara benzetti. Ac\u0131s\u0131ndan metanet umdu. Kalkt\u0131\u011f\u0131 yerden do\u011fruldu. Ta\u015fa, duvara yasland\u0131, umudun seyrindeki b\u00fclb\u00fcllere \u00e7aput ba\u011flad\u0131. Tutunacak bir omuz arad\u0131 \u00e7o\u011fu kez; lakin bulamad\u0131. Bir kez daha var g\u00fcc\u00fcyle d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fc yerden do\u011fruldu, i\u00e7indeki \u201cana\u201d ona dayanak olmu\u015ftu. Anayd\u0131 o; bin bir cefa ile b\u00fcy\u00fctt\u00fc\u011f\u00fc yetiminin anas\u0131. Dile\u011fi \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fckt\u00fc. Prangalar\u2026 ah, o prangalar, sabr\u0131n\u0131n pasl\u0131 yank\u0131s\u0131yd\u0131. K\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131k\u00e7a ses verdi, ses verdik\u00e7e avundu. \u0130\u00e7indeki ku\u015f h\u00e2l\u00e2 kanat \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131yordu, g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcnde yank\u0131lanan bir \u201cyetmedi\u201dyle. Yoluna ta\u015flar y\u0131\u011f\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131; o ta\u015flar\u0131 tek tek ay\u0131klamakla ba\u015flad\u0131 m\u00fccadelesi. Zordu. Direndi. Niyaz ile devam etti y\u00fcr\u00fcmeye. Her ad\u0131m\u0131nda bir sanc\u0131, her sanc\u0131s\u0131nda onu ayakta tutan anal\u0131\u011f\u0131 vard\u0131\u2026<\/p>\n Ve o kad\u0131n, dizlerinin alt\u0131na kadar sapland\u0131\u011f\u0131 kar\u0131n i\u00e7inde, ellerini semaya kald\u0131rd\u0131. \u201cAllah kar gibi g\u00f6kten ya\u011f\u0131nca,\u201d dedi, \u201cbeni de \u00f6rts\u00fcn, ama \u00f6ld\u00fcrmesin. Art\u0131k ne ac\u0131n\u0131n izi kald\u0131 teninde, ne de salyalar\u0131n a\u015fa\u011f\u0131lay\u0131c\u0131 lekesi ruhunda. Hepsi ge\u00e7ti. Ve g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fc, o gece biraz daha yakla\u015ft\u0131 yere. Peki \u015fimdi kim s\u00f6yleyecek ona; kar\u0131n ger\u00e7ekten ya\u011fmak i\u00e7in mi indi\u011fini, yoksa Tanr\u0131\u2019n\u0131n onu sakince \u00f6rtmek i\u00e7in mi g\u00f6nderdi\u011fini?<\/p>\n Kar ya\u011f\u0131nca g\u00f6kten, ellerim \u00fc\u015f\u00fcd\u00fc. Ke\u015fke sadece ellerim \u00fc\u015f\u00fcseydi. \u0130\u00e7imde bir \u015feylerde \u00fc\u015f\u00fcyor. \u0130\u00e7imde bir \u015feyler de dondu sanki. Bir yan\u0131m hep k\u0131\u015f bir yan\u0131m nedense hi\u00e7 \u0131s\u0131nmad\u0131. Kar\u0131n alt\u0131ndaki toprak gibi s\u0131zl\u0131yor; hi\u00e7 dinmemecesine ac\u0131yor y\u00fcre\u011fim. Kan\u0131yor bedenim\u2026Kan\u0131yor ruhumun diki\u015fleri\u2026<\/p>\n Ve ben bazen kendi kendine soruyorsun i\u015fte: Ve kar h\u00e2l\u00e2 ya\u011farken, <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Bir kad\u0131n vard\u0131. Kader, sa\u00e7 tellerine d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmler atm\u0131\u015f, g\u00fcz yapraklar\u0131 gibi mayho\u015f bir r\u00fczg\u00e2rda savruluyordu…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":44,"featured_media":2774,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[245],"class_list":["post-2773","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-hikaye"],"yoast_head":"\n
\nKar tutan topra\u011f\u0131 anlayacaks\u0131n<\/em>
\nToprakta bir kar\u0131\u015f kar\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcnce<\/em>
\nKar i\u00e7inde yanan kar\u0131 anlayacaks\u0131n.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n
\nUnutulanlar\u0131 de\u011fil,
\nsusup direnenleri hat\u0131rlats\u0131n.<\/p>\n
\nBir kar ya\u011f\u0131\u015f\u0131 gibi ge\u00e7ti. Ge\u00e7ecekti de. Geride kalan sadece beyazl\u0131k\u2026 Beyazl\u0131\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7indeki sessiz, g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc bir varolu\u015f. Karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131 oldu\u011fu gibi kabul etti, o da biliyordu: Her gece, i\u00e7inde sabah\u0131 ta\u015f\u0131r. Toprak onunla konu\u015ftu. Da\u011f, suskunlu\u011funu bozdu. A\u011fa\u00e7lar e\u011fildi \u00f6n\u00fcnde\u2026 O, ac\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 ba\u011f\u0131\u015flamay\u0131 \u00f6\u011frenmi\u015fti. Art\u0131k ne \u00f6fke vard\u0131 sesinde, ne korku kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 y\u00fcre\u011finde. Sadece dingin bir teslimiyet\u2026 Yenilginin de\u011fil, kendini bilmenin sessiz zaferiydi bu. Elini g\u00f6\u011fe kald\u0131rd\u0131. Parmak u\u00e7lar\u0131nda kar taneleri eridi\u2026 S\u0131zd\u0131 umut gibi topra\u011fa. \u201cAllah kar gibi g\u00f6kten ya\u011f\u0131nca,\u201d dedi, \u201cben de kar gibi ya\u011fd\u0131m \u00fczerime. Beyaz oldum, sustum, ar\u0131nd\u0131m.\u201d<\/p>\n
\nKu\u015flar u\u00e7may\u0131 unuttu, r\u00fczg\u00e2r y\u00f6n\u00fcn\u00fc.
\n\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc bir kad\u0131n, insanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n en k\u0131r\u0131k yerinden yeniden do\u011fmu\u015ftu.<\/p>\n
\nBir insan, ger\u00e7ekten ka\u00e7 kere do\u011fabilir?
\nYoksa her kar ya\u011f\u0131\u015f\u0131, bir dirili\u015f midir asl\u0131nda?<\/p>\n
\nbir soru tak\u0131l\u0131 kald\u0131 havada:
\nBir kad\u0131n, ka\u00e7 k\u0131\u015ftan sonra kendi bahar\u0131n\u0131 bulur?<\/p>\n