Antep\u2019teyiz. Karde\u015fim Ali var yan\u0131mda. \u015eehrin, daha \u00f6nce hi\u00e7 bilmedi\u011fimiz, k\u00f6hne ve \u00fcrk\u00fct\u00fcc\u00fc, yoksul g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fcs\u00fcyle y\u00fcrek burkan bir k\u00f6\u015fesindeyiz. Elimdeki k\u00e2\u011f\u0131t par\u00e7as\u0131na, e\u011freti bir yaz\u0131yla yaz\u0131lm\u0131\u015f adresi ar\u0131yoruz.
\n\u201cBuras\u0131\u201d diyor Ali,
\nkul\u00fcbeden hallice ilgin\u00e7 yap\u0131y\u0131 i\u015faret ederek. Tahta \u00fczerine ulanm\u0131\u015f tenekeli kap\u0131n\u0131n, aral\u0131k oldu\u011funu farkedip, aya\u011f\u0131mla usulca ittiriyorum. Karanl\u0131k bir dehlize a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131yor kap\u0131. \u0130\u00e7eriden yans\u0131yan gri bulan\u0131k \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 takip ederek, dehlizi ge\u00e7iyoruz. Evin pencereleri, p\u00f6rs\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f \u00e7\u0131talara \u00e7ak\u0131lm\u0131\u015f mu\u015fambalarla kapl\u0131. K\u0131\u015f g\u00fcn\u00fc. Hava ayaz. Kap\u0131n\u0131n sesiyle kar\u015f\u0131m\u0131zda beliren gen\u00e7 kad\u0131na; Nesibe han\u0131m\u2019\u0131 arad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131, bir emaneti ula\u015ft\u0131rmak \u00fczere burada oldu\u011fumuzu s\u00f6yl\u00fcyorum. \u201cDurman, soban\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131na gelin, ayaz \u00e7alar, \u00fc\u015f\u00fcrs\u00fcn\u00fcz\u201d diyerek, i\u00e7imizi \u0131st\u0131nan bir samimiyetle tek g\u00f6zl\u00fc evine davet ediyor bizi. Odan\u0131n tam orta yerinde, irili ufakl\u0131 d\u00f6rt \u00e7ocu\u011fun ba\u015f\u0131na topland\u0131\u011f\u0131 teneke sobadan yans\u0131yan alev ve birbirinden g\u00fczel \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n, oday\u0131 ayd\u0131nlatan \u0131\u015f\u0131kl\u0131 g\u00f6zleri, berrak ayd\u0131nl\u0131k bir diyar haline getirmi\u015f evi… mis gibi tarhana kokuyor… \u201cAnam\u201d diyor kad\u0131n,
\n\u201cNesibe anam, dam\u0131n akan yerine mu\u015famba \u00e7ekmeye \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131, az \u0131s\u0131n\u0131n gelir \u015fimdi.\u201d
\nDerin bir i\u00e7 \u00e7ekip devam ediyor:
\n\u201cO\u011flu bizi b\u0131rak\u0131p gittiyse bile, anam sahip \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131, \u00e7ekmedi elini \u00fcst\u00fcm\u00fczden…\u201d
\nBir yandan konu\u015fuyor, bir yandan soban\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnde kaynayan \u00e7orbayla, \u00e7oluk \u00e7ocuk \u00f6\u011f\u00fcn savu\u015fturmak i\u00e7in sofra kuruyor. Nesibe ana da geliyor, ne kadar itiraz etsek de, daha meram\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 bile anlatamadan, hep beraber, ev ekme\u011finin yan\u0131da mis gibi tarhana \u00e7orbas\u0131n\u0131 i\u00e7erken buluyoruz kendimizi. Bak\u0131\u015flardaki sevginin tarifi yok… Hayat\u0131m\u0131n en unutulmaz, en lezzetli ve keyifli anlar\u0131… Cennet diye tan\u0131mlad\u0131\u011f\u0131m huzur ortam\u0131…
\n………
\n2000 li y\u0131llar\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131. Uzak bir \u00fclkede ya\u015fayan yak\u0131n\u0131m\u0131n vas\u0131tas\u0131yla tan\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m ve evlerinde bir ka\u00e7 g\u00fcn misafir olmak durumunda kald\u0131\u011f\u0131m, karun kadar zengin, bir o kadar tan\u0131nm\u0131\u015f, \u00f6z\u00fcnde, iyi insanlar olduklar\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm bir ailenin, \u0130stanbul bo\u011faz\u0131na n\u00e2z\u0131r villas\u0131nday\u0131m. T\u0131pk\u0131 filmlerdeki gibi. \u201cVay be ne ya\u015famlar varm\u0131\u015f da, haberimiz yokmu\u015f\u201d diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm pembe d\u00fcnyan\u0131n; insanlar\u0131n sevgisizlikleri, riyak\u00e2rl\u0131klar\u0131 ve manevi de\u011ferlerini kaybedip, d\u00fcnyan\u0131n cezbedici r\u00fcyas\u0131na kap\u0131l\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n, karanl\u0131k bir hapishaneye \u00e7evirdi\u011fi malik\u00e2ne ve mutsuzlu\u011fun en canl\u0131 hali. Birlikte oturulamayan g\u00f6rkemli sofralar, aile fertlerinin bir araya gelmesiyle olu\u015fan kavga ortam\u0131, t\u0131pk\u0131 bir morgu and\u0131ran so\u011fuk ve kat\u0131 duvarlar, as\u0131k suratlar, \u00e7\u0131kar ili\u015fkileri, t\u00fcrl\u00fc entrikalar\u2026 Hayalk\u0131r\u0131kl\u0131\u011f\u0131 ya\u015fatm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 bana, bu insanlar\u0131n i\u00e7inde bulundu\u011fu kaos. Akl\u0131mdaki zenginlik fig\u00fcr\u00fcn\u00fc, bir ka\u00e7 g\u00fcn i\u00e7inde cehenneme \u00e7evirmi\u015fti.
\n……
\n\u015eimdi bunlar nerden geldi akl\u0131ma?
\nHastane ortamlar\u0131n\u0131 oldum olas\u0131 sevmem, \u00fcrk\u00fct\u00fcr beni. Zira, yak\u0131n zamanda ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z salg\u0131n, benim i\u00e7in daha da korkutucu hale getirdi sa\u011fl\u0131k kurumlar\u0131n\u0131… kayg\u0131lar i\u00e7inde, resmi bir i\u015fi halletmek \u00fczere evime \u00e7ok yak\u0131n olan Sa\u011fl\u0131k Oca\u011f\u0131na gitmek zorunda kald\u0131m bu g\u00fcn. Belki birka\u00e7 y\u0131ld\u0131r ilk gidi\u015fim. Kap\u0131da kuyruk, hastalar bir dizi prosed\u00fcrden sonra tek tek al\u0131n\u0131yor i\u00e7eri. Nerden baksan bir saate yak\u0131n beklemem gerekiyor. Bu arada bah\u00e7e dikkatimi \u00e7ekiyor. Sonbahar\u0131n k\u0131z\u0131l rengi, k\u0131\u015f\u0131n habercisi u\u00e7uk sar\u0131, mevsimle inatla\u015fan \u00e7am ye\u015fili ve eme\u011fe vefa duyan birka\u00e7 mevsim \u00e7i\u00e7e\u011fi… ilmek ilmek dokunmu\u015f k\u0131ymetli bir hal\u0131y\u0131 and\u0131r\u0131yor bu haliyle ve kendimce y\u00fckledi\u011fim anlamlar y\u00fcz\u00fcnden, g\u00f6z\u00fcme kaskat\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcnen bu so\u011fuk bina, etraf\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7evreleyen, \u015fahane bah\u00e7e sayesinde anlam de\u011fi\u015ftiriyor sanki. Bu arada; bah\u00e7ede bir peyzaj mimar\u0131n\u0131n dokunu\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 ararken, nev\u00ee \u015fahs\u0131na m\u00fcnhas\u0131r ki\u015fili\u011fi ve e\u015fsiz sohbeti ile tan\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131m Aile hekimimizin bu bah\u00e7eyi, her metre karesine sevgi ve emekle dokunarak, bir sanat eserine \u00e7evirdi\u011fini \u00f6\u011freniyorum. Ge\u00e7mez dedi\u011fim bir saat do\u011fan\u0131n b\u00fcy\u00fcs\u00fcyle ve bu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceler i\u00e7inde nas\u0131l ge\u00e7iyor farketmiyorum bile… S\u00f6ylene s\u00f6ylene geldi\u011fim yer, i\u00e7inden \u00e7\u0131kmak istemedi\u011fim bir cennete d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fcyor…<\/p>\n
Demem o ki; insan, cennetin de, cehennemin de ta kendisi… ve d\u00fcnya, i\u00e7inde ya\u015fayan insanlara g\u00f6re cennet de olabiliyor, cehennem de… bu ikisi aras\u0131ndaki ince \u00e7izgiyi ise SEVG\u0130 belirliyor.<\/p>\n
(Filiz Ganida\u011fl\u0131)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Antep\u2019teyiz. Karde\u015fim Ali var yan\u0131mda. \u015eehrin, daha \u00f6nce hi\u00e7 bilmedi\u011fimiz, k\u00f6hne ve \u00fcrk\u00fct\u00fcc\u00fc, yoksul g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fcs\u00fcyle…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":27,"featured_media":1832,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[196,16],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[195],"class_list":["post-1831","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-filiz-ganidagli","category-hikaye"],"yoast_head":"\n