Bug\u00fcn de her g\u00fcn oldu\u011fu gibi yine alaca \u015fafakta kar\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m hayata. Asl\u0131nda saat g\u00fcn\u00fcn ilk \u0131\u015f\u0131klar\u0131nda yollara d\u00fc\u015fenler i\u00e7in bile \u00e7ok erkendi..
\nArabamla, kimselerin olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 yollardan ge\u00e7erek \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m yere ula\u015fm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. O saat, bu saat; durmadan nefes almadan ya ko\u015ftum ya konu\u015ftum ya da \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.
\n\u00c7ok hareketliydi her \u015fey ve \u00e7ok ses vard\u0131. Har\u0131lt\u0131, g\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fc, korna sesleri, i\u015f makineleri, toz, duman\u2026 \u00c7e\u015fit \u00e7e\u015fit u\u011fultu dolu etraf! \u0130\u015f g\u00fcn\u00fcn\u00fc tamamlay\u0131p \u00e7antam\u0131 toplarken, bir yandan da kendime s\u00f6ylenip duruyorum. \u201cAh benim \u015fu \u00e7eli\u015fkili hallerim!\u201d
\nAsl\u0131nda \u015fehrin g\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fcs\u00fcne gelemiyorum. Ancak kalabal\u0131klar i\u00e7inde kendimi unutmak, ka\u00e7mak, kaybolmak da kolay geliyor sanki. G\u00fcn sonunda kafam o kadar doluyor ki dinginli\u011fi \u00f6zl\u00fcyorum bu defa. Belki de kendimi bilmiyorum\u2026
\n\u201cDur art\u0131k! dinlen az\u0131c\u0131k, dinle, yava\u015fla\u201d derken buldum kendimi g\u00fcn bat\u0131m\u0131na do\u011fru. Ve eve gitmek yerine, y\u00f6n\u00fcm\u00fc k\u00f6y evine \u00e7evirmeye karar verdim\u2026 \u015fehre uzak, sessizli\u011fe yak\u0131n\u2026<\/p>\n
Ak\u015fam vakti i\u015fim bitmi\u015fti. Arabayla eve do\u011fru d\u00f6n\u00fcyordum. Ac\u0131km\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Evime giden yolda bakkaldan bozma b\u00fcfeden ekmek alay\u0131m diye durdum. \u0130\u00e7eri girer girmez tezg\u00e2h dolab\u0131ndaki \u00e7\u00f6kele\u011fe tak\u0131ld\u0131 g\u00f6z\u00fcm. Yolda, \u0130smail abinin bah\u00e7esine girip, mis gibi birka\u00e7 domates, ac\u0131s\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131t\u0131r biber toplasam; yan kom\u015fu Hatice abladan da bir \u015fi\u015fe yay\u0131k ayran\u0131 alsam, bu \u00e7\u00f6kelekle nas\u0131l g\u00fczel gider, al sana ak\u015fam yeme\u011fi. Kuzu kavurma ne ki? Bir hevesle alacaklar\u0131m\u0131 ald\u0131m, po\u015fetleri araban\u0131n arka koltu\u011fa at\u0131p yola devam ettim.<\/p>\n
Yol yap\u0131m\u0131 var yine. Bitmeyen \u00e7ile. Onbe\u015f dakikal\u0131k yere, yar\u0131m saatte zor geldim. \u00c7atmayoldaki dev \u00e7\u0131nar a\u011fac\u0131n\u0131n silueti g\u00f6r\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde rahatlad\u0131m biraz. Hey m\u00fcbarek! En az\u0131ndan bundan sonra patikadan kendime g\u00f6re seyrederdim. Nas\u0131l \u00f6zlemi\u015fim buralar\u0131. Bozhasanlar\u0131n oraya var\u0131nca, arabay\u0131 sa\u011fa \u00e7ekip bah\u00e7eye dalay\u0131m dedim ama y\u00fcz\u00fc yine yola d\u00f6n\u00fck, uzaklarda bakarak, k\u0131p\u0131rdamadan oturan \u0130smail abi\u2019yi g\u00f6r\u00fcnce, durup seyre dald\u0131m.<\/p>\n
Yaln\u0131z ya\u015far \u0130smail abi. Babas\u0131 \u00e7oktan \u00f6lm\u00fc\u015f. Bir ka\u00e7 sene \u00f6ncesine kadar, ba\u015f\u0131nda, evi \u00e7ekip \u00e7eviren anas\u0131 vard\u0131 hi\u00e7 de\u011filse. Gule teyze de, kovit\u2019e yakalan\u0131p aniden \u00f6l\u00fcnce, \u0130smail abi bir ba\u015f\u0131na kald\u0131\u2026 kimi kimsesi, geleni gideni yoktur. K\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131ya boyad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir tahta sandalyesi ve k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir masas\u0131 vard\u0131r. \u0130\u015faret feneri gibi, orada, kap\u0131daki ya\u015fl\u0131 zeytin a\u011fac\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131nda durur k\u0131\u015f yaz. Tarla tak\u0131m i\u015finde de\u011filse, elinde kazma k\u00fcrek yoksa, orada oturur halde bulursun onu ne vakit gitsen\u2026 birini bekler gibi, ufka d\u00f6n\u00fck, g\u00f6z\u00fc yolda. \u0130smail abi konu\u015fmaz, ses etmez. Uzaklara bakar. Ara s\u0131ra, g\u00f6\u011fe\u2026 duru\u015fundan, oturu\u015fundan \u00e7\u00f6zmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rs\u0131n ruh halini. Derin bir h\u00fcz\u00fcn gezinir g\u00f6zlerinde. Bir o h\u00fczn\u00fc bilirsin, bir de; d\u00f6\u015f cebinde ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131, g\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f i\u015flemeli t\u00fct\u00fcn tabakas\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kart\u0131p, bir sanat eseri yarat\u0131rcas\u0131na itinayla sard\u0131\u011f\u0131 ka\u00e7ak sigaras\u0131n\u0131\u2026 kutsal bir rit\u00fceli ger\u00e7ekle\u015ftiriyormu\u015f\u00e7as\u0131na, sararm\u0131\u015f parmaklar\u0131n\u0131n aras\u0131nda incitmeden tutar sigaray\u0131, usulca g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcr, t\u00fct\u00fcn\u00fcn sarartt\u0131\u011f\u0131 b\u0131y\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan g\u00f6r\u00fcnmeyen a\u011fz\u0131na. Hele, bir muhtar \u00e7akma\u011f\u0131 var ki; \u00e7ak\u0131nca, ac\u0131l\u0131 bir ses duyars\u0131n. \u00c7\u0131t! Kalp k\u0131r\u0131\u011f\u0131 gibi… en sevdi\u011fim de \u00e7akma\u011f\u0131n ortal\u0131\u011fa yayd\u0131\u011f\u0131 benzin kokusu! S\u0131rf bunun i\u00e7in bile hi\u00e7 konu\u015fmadan kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na oturulup izlenir \u0130smail abi. Son nefesini \u00e7ekercesine i\u00e7ine derinden \u00e7ekip, ya\u015fama yeniden d\u00f6nercesine b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131 beyaz halkal\u0131 t\u00fct\u00fcn duman\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnde kederle dolan\u0131r durur\u2026 onu seyrederken ya\u015famla \u00f6l\u00fcm aras\u0131nda gider gelirsin!<\/p>\n
Orada ne kadar kald\u0131m, bilmiyorum.
\n\u201cNe geziyon buralarda deli k\u0131z, \u00e7oktand\u0131r kay\u0131pt\u0131n. \u0130nsan evini merak eder, gelir bir bakar hi\u00e7 de\u011filse. Rahmetli baban bo\u015f komazd\u0131 hi\u00e7 buralar\u0131. Sen de temelli terkedin diye \u015feyettim\u201d Hatice ablan\u0131n sesiyle d\u00f6nd\u00fcm zamana. Hava neredeyse kararm\u0131\u015f. Az \u00f6tede, elindeki bastonuyla topra\u011f\u0131 e\u015feleyen ya\u015fl\u0131 kocas\u0131\u2026
\n\u201cNe bileyim Hatice abla, gelemedim i\u015fte, \u015fimdiymi\u015f zaman\u0131. Ka\u00e7 ka\u00e7 nereye kadar. Babams\u0131z zor olsa da biliyorum ki derdimin derman\u0131 burada. O buray\u0131 \u00e7ok severdi\u2026 Neyse,geldim i\u015fte. A\u00e7\u0131m. Bah\u00e7eye dal\u0131p, domates \u00e7alay\u0131m derken, \u0130smail abiyi g\u00f6rd\u00fcm, bakakald\u0131m\u2026
\nsana da s\u0131ra gelecekti asl\u0131nda, ayran var m\u0131 ayran\u2026 \u201c
\n\u201colmaz m\u0131!\u201d<\/p>\n
A\u00e7 ve yorgun olmama ra\u011fmen, eve var\u0131\u015f\u0131m\u0131 geciktirip orada \u00f6yle laflamak daha kolay geldi.<\/p>\n
Hele bak Hatice abla. Sizin i\u00e7in \u201cBarak\u2019lar buran\u0131n en eskileri\u201d derdi rahmetli babam. Ama sana da Yaban Hatice diye sesleniyorlar. Nas\u0131l geldin buralara, nerden? Ka\u00e7 senedir kom\u015fusun Bozhasanlar\u2019 la?hep b\u00f6yle miydi bu \u0130smail abi? Hep mi susard\u0131? Nereye bakar, kimi arar?
\nDerin bir i\u00e7 \u00e7ekti Hatice abla\u2026 Ad\u0131yaman\u2019\u0131n Be\u015fikli k\u00f6y\u00fcndenim ben kuzum. Irgatl\u0131k yapard\u0131 bizimkiler. G\u00f6\u00e7ebeydik, ekmek pe\u015finde gezer durur, bahar oldu mu bu taraflar\u0131 mesken tutard\u0131k. Mesken dediysem, bir \u00e7ad\u0131r\u0131n i\u00e7iydi bize olanca d\u00fcnya. Aha \u015fu koca yaz\u0131n\u0131n bu\u011fday\u0131, arpas\u0131, mercime\u011fi, f\u0131st\u0131\u011f\u0131, pamu\u011fu elimizden ge\u00e7erdi hep. Yine bir hasat zaman\u0131 buralarda, mercimek yoluyoruz. G\u00f6z koymu\u015f bana \u015fu k\u00f6rolas\u0131ca. Babama ya\u015f\u0131t haline bakmadan. Daha Onbe\u015fimdeyim. Anla\u015fm\u0131\u015f bizimkilerle, bir kalbur ka\u011f\u0131t paraya kesmi\u015fler ederimi. G\u00fcn g\u00f6r\u00fcr demi\u015f anam, \u00f6tesini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnememi\u015f. Gelip ald\u0131lar, sorgusuz sualsiz. Adana\u2019da pamuk toplayan sevdal\u0131ma haber bile edemeden. Paralar\u0131 al\u0131p, beni kaderime sal\u0131p yola koyuldu bizimkiler. Gidi\u015f, o gidi\u015f! S\u0131\u011famazd\u0131m \u00f6nceleri o eve de, ka\u00e7ar ka\u00e7ar burda al\u0131rd\u0131m solu\u011fu. \u0130smail k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fckt\u00fc daha, nas\u0131l g\u00fczeldi. Sesi daha g\u00fczel! Yan\u0131k bir t\u00fcrk\u00fc tutturdu mu, i\u015fi g\u00fcc\u00fc b\u0131rak\u0131r kulak kesilirdik hepimiz, i\u00e7imiz da\u011flan\u0131rd\u0131. Bac\u0131lar\u0131, Nurselle Elif kocaya var\u0131p Almanya\u2019ya gitti bir zaman sonra. Huzur kokan, anal\u0131 babal\u0131 \u015fen \u015fapalak bir yuvayd\u0131 buras\u0131. G\u00fcn oldu devran d\u00f6nd\u00fc Yi\u011fit bir delikanl\u0131 oldu \u0130smail. Ta\u015f\u0131 s\u0131ksa suyunu \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131rd\u0131. Bilirdi herkes onu, tan\u0131rd\u0131. B\u0131rak buralar\u0131, \u00e7evre k\u00f6ylerin k\u0131zlar\u0131 bile vurgundu boyuna posuna. Hele bir halaya dursun, davul zurna a\u015fka gelir, silahlar artarda patlar, d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn onunla \u015fenelirdi\u2026 Seher\u2019e de bir k\u00f6y d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde tutuldu. S\u0131rmal\u0131 K\u00f6yden Osman a\u011fan\u0131n k\u0131z\u0131 g\u00fczeller g\u00fczeli Seher\u2026 ilk g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fte sevdaland\u0131lar birbirlerine. Bak\u0131\u015fmalar, mektuplar, gizli sakl\u0131 konu\u015fmalar derken, dile d\u00fc\u015fmeden kavu\u015fmal\u0131 dedi \u0130smail ve anas\u0131n\u0131 babas\u0131n\u0131, kar\u015f\u0131 k\u00f6ye Osman a\u011falara g\u00f6nderdi k\u0131z istemeye\u2026 bilirsin buralar\u0131 bozgunculuk yapan, aram\u0131za nifak sokan\u0131n ard\u0131 arkas\u0131 t\u00fckenmez. Hele o zamanlar daha \u00e7ok b\u00f6lerlerdi; vay bu k\u00fcrt, \u015fu t\u00fcrk, s\u00fcnni, alevi bilmem ne diye\u2026<\/p>\n
Bildi Osman a\u011fa, gelenlerin meram\u0131n\u0131. Ho\u015f sefa geldiniz demek adettendir dedi, daha oturmadan. Oca\u011f\u0131ma yolu d\u00fc\u015feni kovmak \u015fan\u0131ma yara\u015fmaz. Lakin k\u00fcrte k\u0131z verece\u011fime, k\u0131z\u0131 keser itin \u00f6n\u00fcne atar\u0131m, bunu bilesiniz \u00f6yle oturas\u0131n\u0131z \u00e7uluma\u2026 oturmad\u0131lar tabii, ne buraya gelmi\u015f olal\u0131m, ne de ite yem olsun g\u00fczeller g\u00fczeli Seher diye, hi\u00e7 bir \u015fey demeden d\u00f6nd\u00fcler gerisin geri.<\/p>\n
Daha onlar eve varmadan haber u\u00e7urdu Seher \u0130smail\u2019e. S\u00f6yle anana babana, bakmas\u0131nlar kusuruna a\u011fa babam\u0131n. Sen benim kaderimsin. Her \u015feyi unut, beni unutma, bekle! Gece yar\u0131s\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7e do\u011fru geliyorum, \u00c7atma yoldan al beni.\u201d F\u0131rt\u0131na gibi \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131 \u0130smail. \u0130ki k\u00f6y\u00fcn aras\u0131n\u0131 kesen \u00e7atma yolun berisinde bir kuytuda beklemeye koyuldu. G\u00fcn a\u015ft\u0131, ak\u015fam oldu, ak\u015fam geceye d\u00f6nd\u00fc, gece sabaha\u2026 ne gelen oldu ne giden\u2026 delirdi \u0130smail meraktan. S\u0131rmal\u0131 k\u00f6ye gitti, evin \u00f6n\u00fcnde dolan\u0131p durdu, sordu soru\u015fturdu haber alamad\u0131\u2026 g\u00fcnler devrildi, hafta oldu, haftalar ay\u2026haber sald\u0131, evi bast\u0131, kovuldu, d\u00f6v\u00fcld\u00fc, daha neler neler! S\u0131rra kadem bast\u0131 Seher. Buhar olup u\u00e7tu adeta, yok oldu, duyan bilen, nerde oldu\u011funu diyen olmad\u0131\u2026<\/p>\n
Hah! \u0130\u015fte o zamanlar sustu \u0130smail. Bir daha hi\u00e7 konu\u015fmad\u0131.
\nYol etti S\u0131rmal\u0131 k\u00f6y\u00fc ilk seneler. K\u00f6yden d\u00f6nd\u00fc \u00c7atma yolda bekledi. Olmad\u0131 evde, aha bu a\u011fac\u0131n alt\u0131nda bekledi. Hep bekledi. Ama Seher gelmedi.<\/p>\n
Sesi ac\u0131yan Hatice abla, dolan g\u00f6zlerini k\u0131s\u0131p, iki eliyle omuzlar\u0131mdan tutarak, \u00c7atma
\nyola \u00e7evirdi y\u00f6n\u00fcm\u00fc.
\n\u015eu yol var ya, \u015fu yol; k\u0131rk senedir bak\u0131p, bir kalbur paraya esir al\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131m, ad\u0131m\u0131 yaban eden, bu yaban elden ka\u00e7may\u0131 d\u00fc\u015fledi\u011fim YOL.<\/p>\n
\u0130smaili\u2019in, dilini yutturan, s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc unutturan, i\u00e7ini kor gibi yak\u0131p, ortadan kaybolan sevdas\u0131n\u0131, belki \u00e7\u0131kar gelir diye, umutlar\u0131n\u0131 kum diye d\u00f6\u015feyip, senelerdir bekledi\u011fi YOL.<\/p>\n
Ve senin, g\u00fczel g\u00f6zl\u00fc Elif\u2019im; kimbilir nerede kaybedip, nelerden ka\u00e7\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131n kendini, aray\u0131p bulmaya geldi\u011fin YOL\u2026<\/p>\n
Omuzlar\u0131m\u0131, Hatice ablan\u0131n elinden kurtar\u0131p, k\u00f6ye d\u00f6nd\u00fcm y\u00f6n\u00fcm\u00fc. Tek t\u00fck \u0131\u015f\u0131klar\u0131n yanmaya ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131, uzaktan s\u00fcr\u00fcy\u00fc a\u011f\u0131la \u00e7eken \u00e7obanlar\u0131n sesiyle, ke\u00e7i koyun me\u2019lemelerinin birbirine
\nkar\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131, g\u00fcbre kokulu k\u00f6y\u00fcme. Hatey ana\u2019n\u0131n, deli ine\u011fi sa\u011fma saatiydi belli ki. Yakt\u0131\u011f\u0131 a\u011f\u0131t, kar\u015f\u0131 da\u011fa \u00e7arparak kalbimi vuruyordu. Deli inek, ad\u0131 \u00fcst\u00fcnde, onun sesini duymadan sa\u011fd\u0131rmazd\u0131 kendini. Gen\u00e7 karde\u015fini topra\u011fa koyan Hatey ana\u2019ya da a\u011f\u0131t i\u00e7in bahane laz\u0131md\u0131. T\u0131pk\u0131 benim babam\u0131n sesini art\u0131k duymuyorum diye, herkesten, her \u015feyden, ait oldu\u011fum yerden ka\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131m gibi\u2026 belli ki; i\u00e7imde dolanan a\u011f\u0131d\u0131m, bitmeyen yas\u0131m i\u00e7in bana da bir bahane laz\u0131md\u0131!<\/p>\n
Ses etmedim. Yola bakt\u0131m, \u0130smail abiye, Hatice ablaya\u2026 unuttum buraya niye geldi\u011fimi! D\u00f6n\u00fcp arkam\u0131 arabaya bindim ve o kahrolas\u0131 yoldan intikam al\u0131rcas\u0131na bast\u0131m gaza\u2026<\/p>\n
Ant i\u00e7tim o an; Seher gelmedi, Hatice abla gidemedi! Ama ben; burada, ait oldu\u011fum yerde, bulup kendimi y\u00fczle\u015fecektim art\u0131k! Bu ka\u00e7\u0131\u015f, bu aray\u0131\u015f son bulacakt\u0131. Hem de bu yolda. \u0130smail abinin d\u00f6\u015fedi\u011fi \u00fcmidini, Hatice ablan\u0131n vazge\u00e7medi\u011fi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fc kendime yol haritas\u0131 belleyecektim!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Bug\u00fcn de her g\u00fcn oldu\u011fu gibi yine alaca \u015fafakta kar\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m hayata. Asl\u0131nda saat g\u00fcn\u00fcn ilk…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":27,"featured_media":1796,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[196,16],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[195],"class_list":["post-1795","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-filiz-ganidagli","category-hikaye"],"yoast_head":"\n